In the gray

Mother doesn't invite me along to her parties anymore. She dresses up and puts on her make-up behind closed doors, then tries to sneak out so I won't notice. I caught her once in the hallway on a Saturday night. "I'm just going to the movies" she said but the white mink coat, Rouge Allure Luminous Satin lips and telescopic mascara lashes gave her away.

I'm alone tonight. Mother carelessly forgot to hide her invitation to a fundraising event at The Bowery and Chloe is in Chicago with the ad agency. Henry went back to California for the weekend to spend time with his family, and then there's Carl.

Thunderstorms always make me want to call him so he can tell me about the fires, those moments I tried to mimic with him after we met again in the Gauloise haze. I'll climb into bed naked, get under the cold covers and listen to his voice like music in the dark. Sometimes I fall asleep and when I wake up again he's still there on the other end of the line.